"No, Jon," I said, "It's just too risk-"
He interrupted me by kissing me head on in the lips. I tried to pull away, but the tention between our kiss rose up over all the other kisses I had recieved in the friendship of me and Richie. Me and Richie hand actually been dating yet, but we were friends with benefits. Yes, he kissed me, we had moments together, but I enjoyed them too much to lose them to Jon.
He wrapped his hands in my messy bun I had my hair in, and pulled the hair band out. My messy/curly hair fell down my back and we kissed under the moonlight in my car. It was amazing.
But then, the next day, he told me that he didn't want to ever do anything like that to him again. I was so devastated, I threw the ring down the drain in the school bathroom, and laid there and cried until there were no more tears.
In the tour bus: 1984
I could remember that day so clearly. It was like I couldn't erase any of it from my mind. I was so confused.
I felt myself break down right there in the tour bus, with Jon just in the other room. I felt tears roll down my cheeks, and just let them out.
"Kmae? Are you alright?" Jon said as he rushed into the bedroom.
All my feelings of love and hate towards Jon just spilled out.
"I can't handle it anymore!" I yelled. "Jon, I freaking love you, but what happened between us doesn't matter anymore. I love Richie. I can't handle you guys both loving me. Just tell me right now if you love or hate me. Hit or miss, just tell me goddammit!"
He looked at me, "Listen. You'll always be my dream come true, I live for your smile. I basically die inside when you touch me, but I know that whatever happened to us last night and at prom, is, is over. I can't be like this with you anymore. Yes, at times we were very intimate. I get that. But we can't go behind Richie's back anymore."
"All those years, I couldn't apprehend if I loved you or Richie. In my heart, it was both of you." I cried.
No comments:
Post a Comment