"I do too," Richie smiled.
I looked him in the eyes, "You wanna know something?"
"Anything," he smiled.
"I feel like a stranger when I'm with you," I said. "I don't know what it is, I just don't feel like me."
"Is that good?"
"I honestly think so," I smiled, "it feels like I'm in my own fantasy world."
He laughed, "I'm there too."
We talked for a bit longer, just pouring our feelings out about each other, and watching the waves roll up onto the shore that was lit up by lights from the boardwalk, with the moon hanging slightly above the horizon.
"Do you want to go down to the bar with us?" Richie asked.
I smiled, "Yeah. I think I need a drink."
He laughed, and we walked back down to the bus.
"Where have you guys been?" Tico asked.
Richie pointed up to the trees. "We were down by the beach."
"Did you guys make up?" David asked, holding a drink in his hand.
"Yeah," I said, "we're going down to the bar now I guess."
"Jon and Alec are there," Tico said with a cigarette in his mouth.
"Y'all coming with?" I asked.
David nodded, "We can all go together."
At the bar, I spotted Jon and Alec sitting in the corner of the bar. There wasn't anyone else here, in fear that they'd be attacked by fans.
"Hey ya'll!" Jon hooted, clearly getting drunk.
I rolled my eyes as I sat next to him and he laid his head down on my shoulder.
"Jon," I pleaded, pushing him away.
"What?" he laughed drunkly.
The waiter brought over another drink for Alec, and set a shot next to Jon.
"What will you have, Hun?" she asked me.
"Caramel Apple Pie," I said. It was a mixed drink I used to drink in Iowa.
"That sounds good," Richie said from across the table, "I'll have one too."
"Anything else?" she asked. David and Tico ordered, and then we all started talking.
"So," I said, "are you guys planning on making a music video anytime soon?"
"We're going to make one for Only Lonely for sure." Tico said.
"What about Silent Night?" David said, "I love that song," he smiled.
"You know something?" Jon said from across the table, with a drunken voice, "I obviously wrote that song for Kmae."
I looked at him, and back at Richie. "What?"
"I did," he reassured me.
"Jon," Richie said, "just be quiet. You don't know what you're talking about."
I didn't want them to get into another fight, so I just sat back and was quiet. The waiter brought back out drinks, and I sipped slowly on mine, but then I got switched to drink after drink.
A few hours must've passed. I was hammered. I didn't remember anything. I just remember Richie telling me to "cool it" on the drinks. I ignored him, drinking mixed drinks and shots like there was no tomorrow. I couldn't even remember leaving, or getting anywhere in that matter.
My eyes shot open. I didn't recognize where I was, so I sat up. I had nothing on, freezing to death when I woke up. I had somehow gotten on the tour bus, but was unaware of who helped me. I heard slight snoring next to me, so I looked over. I had to blink a few times to realize who was right next to me. Jon, completely nude, laying neatly next to me with a bottle of vodka laying on his chest.
"What the hell?" I said out loud. I rubbed my head, feeling so sick to my stomach. I ran to the bathroom, throwing up everything. I felt so dirty. I didn't know what happened last night, but whatever it was, Richie wouldn't be happy with me.
I went back into the bedroom, where Jon still laid sound asleep. I looked all over for my clothes, which I finally found strung up over the top of the bus' cabinets. I grabbed all of them, and stopped to look at myself in the mirror. I had scrapes on my knees and bruises all over my body, but mostly on my back where you could see fingerprints like someone had grabbed my shoulders and dug their fingernails in.
My clothes were soaked in vodka, so I threw them into the hamper and grabbed new ones from my bag. I needed new clothes badly, because all I really had were old band t-shirts and short shorts, a few pairs of cowgirl boots and Converse sneakers, and the occasional cowboy hat. They were my life.
I pulled on an old AC/DC TNT shirt and another pair of cowboy boots that were wearing out, and then a pair of short shorts. I went back into the bedroom, in fear of Jon puking or something.
I looked him in the eyes, "You wanna know something?"
"Anything," he smiled.
"I feel like a stranger when I'm with you," I said. "I don't know what it is, I just don't feel like me."
"Is that good?"
"I honestly think so," I smiled, "it feels like I'm in my own fantasy world."
He laughed, "I'm there too."
We talked for a bit longer, just pouring our feelings out about each other, and watching the waves roll up onto the shore that was lit up by lights from the boardwalk, with the moon hanging slightly above the horizon.
"Do you want to go down to the bar with us?" Richie asked.
I smiled, "Yeah. I think I need a drink."
He laughed, and we walked back down to the bus.
"Where have you guys been?" Tico asked.
Richie pointed up to the trees. "We were down by the beach."
"Did you guys make up?" David asked, holding a drink in his hand.
"Yeah," I said, "we're going down to the bar now I guess."
"Jon and Alec are there," Tico said with a cigarette in his mouth.
"Y'all coming with?" I asked.
David nodded, "We can all go together."
At the bar, I spotted Jon and Alec sitting in the corner of the bar. There wasn't anyone else here, in fear that they'd be attacked by fans.
"Hey ya'll!" Jon hooted, clearly getting drunk.
I rolled my eyes as I sat next to him and he laid his head down on my shoulder.
"Jon," I pleaded, pushing him away.
"What?" he laughed drunkly.
The waiter brought over another drink for Alec, and set a shot next to Jon.
"What will you have, Hun?" she asked me.
"Caramel Apple Pie," I said. It was a mixed drink I used to drink in Iowa.
"That sounds good," Richie said from across the table, "I'll have one too."
"Anything else?" she asked. David and Tico ordered, and then we all started talking.
"So," I said, "are you guys planning on making a music video anytime soon?"
"We're going to make one for Only Lonely for sure." Tico said.
"What about Silent Night?" David said, "I love that song," he smiled.
"You know something?" Jon said from across the table, with a drunken voice, "I obviously wrote that song for Kmae."
I looked at him, and back at Richie. "What?"
"I did," he reassured me.
"Jon," Richie said, "just be quiet. You don't know what you're talking about."
I didn't want them to get into another fight, so I just sat back and was quiet. The waiter brought back out drinks, and I sipped slowly on mine, but then I got switched to drink after drink.
A few hours must've passed. I was hammered. I didn't remember anything. I just remember Richie telling me to "cool it" on the drinks. I ignored him, drinking mixed drinks and shots like there was no tomorrow. I couldn't even remember leaving, or getting anywhere in that matter.
My eyes shot open. I didn't recognize where I was, so I sat up. I had nothing on, freezing to death when I woke up. I had somehow gotten on the tour bus, but was unaware of who helped me. I heard slight snoring next to me, so I looked over. I had to blink a few times to realize who was right next to me. Jon, completely nude, laying neatly next to me with a bottle of vodka laying on his chest.
"What the hell?" I said out loud. I rubbed my head, feeling so sick to my stomach. I ran to the bathroom, throwing up everything. I felt so dirty. I didn't know what happened last night, but whatever it was, Richie wouldn't be happy with me.
I went back into the bedroom, where Jon still laid sound asleep. I looked all over for my clothes, which I finally found strung up over the top of the bus' cabinets. I grabbed all of them, and stopped to look at myself in the mirror. I had scrapes on my knees and bruises all over my body, but mostly on my back where you could see fingerprints like someone had grabbed my shoulders and dug their fingernails in.
My clothes were soaked in vodka, so I threw them into the hamper and grabbed new ones from my bag. I needed new clothes badly, because all I really had were old band t-shirts and short shorts, a few pairs of cowgirl boots and Converse sneakers, and the occasional cowboy hat. They were my life.
I pulled on an old AC/DC TNT shirt and another pair of cowboy boots that were wearing out, and then a pair of short shorts. I went back into the bedroom, in fear of Jon puking or something.
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